Phone Sex is a form of masturbation over the phone that can be very hot. This is especially true if you use a vibrator or other arousing toys to get the job done.

Getting your partner in the mood by sending nudes, sexting and flirting over text are good ways to gauge your partner’s interest in having phone sex.

1. Get on the Same Page

Whether you’re in a long-distance relationship or just want to experiment with new ways to pleasure each other, phone sex can be an erotic and satisfying experience. But before you get started, it’s important to be on the same page.

Start out by discussing your fantasies and how they turn you on. Then, work your way up to more explicit language and descriptions. And don’t be afraid to try something new, like sexting or role-playing, suggests Michels.

If you’re feeling nervous, practice with friends before taking the plunge with your partner. And make sure you have a comfortable and private space to focus on the call, including dimming the lights or turning off the TV (you don’t want to be distracted by your favorite shows). You can also include sex toys to increase the likelihood of orgasms.

2. Be Honest

Phone sex can be intimate, so it’s important to be honest about what you want. Don’t be afraid to let your partner know what you like and don’t like—and make sure to listen to them as well.

For example, if they describe a specific part of their body that turns you on or a sound they make in bed, be honest about what you think of it. Just don’t start describing your own fantasies—unless you both want to role-play!

Ultimately, the key to having great phone sex is communication—both listening and talking. That could mean having a really frank conversation where you straight-up ask for consent or it might just be a casual chat about things that turn you on. It all depends on your comfort level.

3. Be Confident

Phone sex can be intimidating, especially for people who are new to it. However, it doesn’t have to be. Whether you’re in a long-distance relationship or just want to try some new foreplay, it’s possible to have a dirty phone call that feels good and turns your partner on.

To get started, try describing sexual scenarios that turn you on. Dip into your “fantasy bank,” deLune says, and describe what you would like to do in certain settings—like sex in public or in an airplane bathroom.

Be descriptive with your language and don’t forget to breathe heavy. A little panting can be as arousing as dirty words over the phone. And don’t be afraid to experiment with power dynamics—try saying things that make you feel dominant or submissive, deLune suggests.

4. Don’t Forget the Compliments

When it comes to phone sex, complementing your partner is a great way to keep the conversation flowing and avoid awkward dead silences. For example, you could compliment them on their sexy lingerie (even if you’re both wearing sweatpants and oversized t-shirts) or say how much you enjoy their moans and groans.

Keeping up with dirty talk is one of the most important parts of having a successful phone sex session, but it can be intimidating for some people. Try reading erotica or listening to porn to get more comfortable with the topic before trying it out in your relationship.

Just remember to be frank about it and clearly ask for consent before you start narrating your fantasies over the phone. If they’re not into it, respect their boundaries and end the call.

5. Find Someplace Quiet and Private

Phone sex can be intimate and sensual, so make sure you and your partner have privacy. It’s also important to choose a location where you can get comfortable, such as your home or a private room at a hotel or restaurant. If you want to boost the mood, try lighting candles or listening to sexy music.

While you can’t guarantee your partner will feel the same way, you can help to ensure they are on board by broaching the subject with a bit of eroticism. This could mean asking them if they’re interested in trying something new or giving a very specific description of your fantasies.

It’s important to be able to verbalize your sexual desires over the phone, but if you’re not a naturally erotic person, you may need to practice. Try thinking about books, movies, or other people that turn you on and nudge yourself toward more descriptive language.

6. Don’t Forget to Charge Your Phone

Phone sex can be a fun way to explore new sexual fantasies, or even spice up an existing relationship. Whether you’re trying it for the first time or just adding some virtual excitement to your long-distance romance, these expert tips can help make the experience safe and erotic.

Jess suggests getting in the mood by primping for a phone call the same way you would get ready for a date. She also recommends using the time to dip into your “fantasy bank.” It can be a good idea to describe settings that turn you on, like public sex or sex in an airplane restroom, or sexual scenarios, like role play or BDSM. Then tell your partner what you want them to do. And remember to turn on video, too!

7. Talk to Each Other After

If you’re feeling adventurous, phone sex can be an amazing way to explore your fantasies and seduce your partner. But be careful — it’s important not to force anything that doesn’t feel right on either of you.

If this is new to you, consider making a list of things that turn you on and ask your partner what theirs are before getting into dirty talk. This will help get everyone on the same page so you can move forward with a clear understanding of what’s okay and what isn’t.

Reading erotica together can also be a great way to explore your sexual fantasies over the phone and expand your vocabulary of sexy words. And, like music, it can set the mood by sexifying your voice and creating a more intimate atmosphere.